Look! It's not a plane, it's not a bird, it's not Superman, in fact it's not even visible, it's a grunion. Grunion are a small fish, they supposedly look like a smelt. (Discussion Question: Don't you have to have smelled to smelt?) Anyway, for some unexplained reason, they like to spawn on the beach during the summer. There is a catch, these fish are very shy, so they only come out on the full moon, or the waning moon, and only at night. Now, I doubt that anyone has ever actually seen a grunion, but I do have a few theories as to why.
1. As a not conspiracy theorist, I felt that I needed to formulate a conspiracy theory. Here it is: Grunion are non-existent. They are made up by the CIA (Slogan: We know your mom!) to occupy the minds of potential terrorists such as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Osama bin Laden, and Regis Philbin.
2. Grunion are actually baby barracuda, they are not going to come onto the beach where we are waiting for them, they are waiting for us to come into the knee deep water, where most barracuda attacks occur.
3. The word grunion was made up by Hollywood film producers as part of a code name for the bay of pigs invasion. They figured out that a cool name would bolster confidence, and they were right, the invasion wouldn't have failed if it had been called Operation Desert Grunion. Bay of Pigs sounds like a butcher company, or maybe a breakfast shop.
4. Perhaps the moon that the grunion are waiting for is not the lunar moon, but a physical moon. Perhaps by lowering ones trousers, grunion can be lured out of the water and captured. In fact, the testimonial of Ethan Distercart seems to prove this point. " I was at the beach one evening with a few of my buddies. We were frolicking in the water and having a jolly old time. All of the sudden, I felt a jerk as my trousers were yanked down by my friend George. As I was frantically trying to return my pants to their original position, a wave came in and I was suddenly surounded by these little fish that really smelt. It was magnificent!"